Side note: I had no intentions of writing a blog post on this subject. I simply wanted to write a note to myself to record the precious little moment I felt my baby’s first kick. Somehow I couldn’t stop writing and here we are a full post later. A first kick is pretty significant to me as it confirms that there is an actual human being living and growing in my own body, which even now, is a surreal feeling! Even though I’d seen the positive tests and witnessed the little wriggler on the screen during the scans, those kicks make it seem a little more real. It’s been a while since I wrote my last post as I was so under the weather recently with sickness which has now thankfully almost gone! So it’s a cathartic feeling to put the words down on digital paper..so to speak.
What a feeling of relief, love, excitement all rolled into one. I have to admit I’ve been a little more anxious with this baby. I took both my first two babies pregnancies completely in my stride and genuinely felt very little fear as I progressed toward my due date.
Having been there twice before it could be expected that pregnancy number 3 would be a breeze as experience and knowledge are powerful tools toward coping with situations. Truthfully though, a bit of worry or ‘overthinking’ has crept into my life at the moment that did not reveal it’s self the previous two times.
This little bit of anxiety has come along, I think partly as I’ve been so sick with the dreaded morning sickness, whilst caring for two kids and wondering how the hell I would function each day!? And partly because in the not so distant future I’ll be a mum of three kids, one of whom is currently two years old is still so dependent on me in most ways.
I worry about number 3’s arrival as I imagine I’ll have a little person in each arm to comfort, along with my 7-year-old to care for too, who still has those times where she needs to be in her mum’s arms for comfort and reassurance just like her little sister. It’s now that I can really hear that voice of my overworked mum in my head “I’ve only got one pair of hands, Amy!” It’s true, us mothers simply need more limbs!
Then I’ve found myself a little more irrationally panic-stricken over how baby number 3 is doing in there despite the scans that prove the baby has been practicing his or her Kung Foo moves. I’ve been feeling the butterfly flutters and the classic popping, which could also so easily be gas? However, I’ve really been waiting for the bonafide baby kicks, my memory seems to think I could feel my first two a little earlier than the stage I’m at now which is 18 weeks. Although as memory’s can be a little jaded as time passes I may have that slightly overestimated?
Thankfully and much to my relief, in the past few days, I’ve been feeling that classic unmistakable strum of tiny toes or fingers hitting my tummy.
A little reassurance that everything is going well was very much welcomed and those first baby kicks most certainly don’t grow old even with number 3!
I am also taking reassurance from the many, many mothers of 3 out there that are living with, juggling with and simply getting on with being a mum of three!
Hopefully, now that the morning sickness has eased and I can function as a human being once more, the anxious thoughts will begin to ease and I can start enjoying this pregnancy with all its precious little moments for the exciting, life-changing time that it is!